I know people with some big personalities. Huge, actually.
And it’s arguable that I myself have a big personality. Ok, I won’t be modest. I do have a big personality.
What about you? Do you consider yourself to have a big personality or a not-so-big personality?
Do you live life like this? Or a little more quietly?
I hesitate to use the words “small personality” because I don’t want to make anyone think I’m asking if you’re small minded.
There’s a difference.
And I’m also not talking about introverts and extroverts.
I guess my question is this:
When you go somewhere do people know you’ve been there? Are you one of those people who takes up the room when you are in it? Do people naturally flock to you because you’re telling all the stories?
Or are you one of the people who can go to a party and leave with only the host knowing you’ve been there? Are you a fringe person – do you like to be part of things, but not at the epicenter? Are you the one listening to the larger than life person telling the stories?
High season for one of the organizations I’m a part of is getting under way this weekend. Between now and the first weekend of May, we will be doing things with this group (or at least some members of it) 15-17 times.
I know. Crazy, right?
And thinking about gearing up for that made me start thinking about both the BIG personalities and the quieter ones.
Because we have both. And it’s an interesting dynamic to watch. Bringing in the husbands with their personalities adds another layer of intrigue to the mix as well.
Last year we were new to this group. Many of us were just getting to know each other. Some of us were on our best behavior. Some of us weren’t. Some of us maybe don’t ever engage in bad behavior at all.
I’ll be curious how this year, knowing each other so much better, changes things.
And I’m really interested in watching us grow as a group.
Another example: I did two spinning classes back-to-back yesterday. The first one was full of larger-than-life personalities, people commenting on the song choices, singing along, chatting with each other as they prepared their bikes. Very boisterous and outgoing.
The second class? No one talked. No one looked up. No one sang, bantered. Nothing. When “Sister Christian” came on and I said “Man I LOVE this song!” No one acknowledged my statement. Or even looked up from their bikes. Except for my friend who was next to me.
HUGE difference.
And honestly – I felt so much more comfortable in the first group. I like talkative, boisterous people. I like people who live their lives on the outside, at least to a certain extent, rather than living 100% from within.
It makes me feel less alone in the world, I suppose.
And that’s not to say I don’t like quiet, introspective people. I do! But the place I feel more comfortable? When people are happy to put themselves out there a bit.
What about you? Do you have a BIG personality? A quiet one? Or are you somewhere in between? And why?
No, I’m never really the life and soul of the party. I’m more the one who is there, who you almost forget about until she does something batshit crazy like clang to metal service trays together to get every ones attention or who makes a remark that has half the table doubled over.
I would double over if you ever clanged a metal service tray at a party I was at!
I really try hard NOT to be so … engaging. But it just happens that way. Sam’s the same way. Caroline is very soft-spoken and quiet, like Scott. But we go somewhere, and everybody knows Sam and Jessie
I can just picture it the way you describe – from seeing your pictures over the years.
I used to try to be quiet. I used to try to stuff it down. Seriously. Because I thought that would be better. But I thought I was going to explode.
I’m just one of those people who is outgoing. I am one of those people who is the life of the party. Whether I like it or not.
How did we miss each other in FL? *weep*
Something tells me that was a big mistake.
I think you’re right!
Right down the middle for me. I’m not often the life of the party, but I’m definitely in the mix. I like attention too much to be on the fringe! Great question!
Your blog posts are HUGE – in a good way. I’ve been absolutely loving them lately.
It depends on the crowd and my comfort level with them! I tend to be more of an observer at first but am much more gregarious with my besties. But oh, I would have SO been singing Sister Christian with you. Make no mistake about that!
Right??? Who can deny Sister Christian?
I guess I’m one of those with a small personality. I’m usually on the fringe and truthfully, I don’t like it at all. But I don’t know how to change that. There are a number of factors that led to that b/c I do believe at one point I had a bigger personality and I do believe I hold myself back a lot. I appreciate people with bigger personalities and love how they can draw me out, but at the same time, there are big personality people that I don’t like being around b/c they feel so much need to draw attention to themselves all the time! Guess it’s all about balance!
I think it can be harder to “keep” a big personality as you get older. I used to be SO big, but have toned it down in recent years. Balance is WAY better, rather than always trying to be HUGE.
I think I do when you are in my circle, but at first, I’m really, REALLY reserved. As I get older, I’ve gotten more intuitive about catching that moment when people realize I’m funny… when the thing pops out that they weren’t expecting from me.
That sounds like one of my kids – so reserved at first, but eventually becomes the life of the party!
I would call myself a mixed bag – I’m outgoing but loathe the spotlight. So, while I usually meet and talk to everyone at a gathering, it’s only after a warm-up peroid and I’m not one to put myself on display.
I loved this post. I had been reflecting on this issue after having two different experiences with two different BIG personalities – one I enjoyed very much and one that set my teeth on edge. Both women are animated, both can be quite loud, both enjoy telling stories. But there’s a big difference – the one who I seek out and make a point to attend functions she’s hosting/attending draws people in with her big personality. She includes you, makes you feel a part of things. The other seems to see the world as her stage and her aim is to get all eyes – and ears – on her. I find that kind of big personality off-putting. My naturally contrary nature leads me to withhold attention from that kind of person
There’s room for all – I have dear friends on each end of the spectrum and value them equally but differently for being so.
Happy Friday!!
Marilee
Your comment is EXACTLY why I find this subject so interesting. Because you are sooo right about how some big personalities are big AND awesome and some are big and . . . not so much. Thanks for articulating that point!
Big. So, SO big. And I come by it honest because both of my parents were/are the same way.
That’s funny – that your parents are the same way! I have one of each, I think.
I can be both! I have more fun when I’m bigger in personality. But there are definitely days or situations where I sit back more. That spin class example is amazing! Funny how energy can change!
I had this post in draft without the spinning example and then when it happened, I had to add it in, it was so perfect!
Hm. I’ve been told that I have a “big” personality, but I’ve always felt more like the fringe group, myself. Then, when I tell my friends that I feel like the small personality type, they all laugh and roll their eyes at me… so… maybe my friends see a different side of me because I feel more confident when they’re with me? So they don’t see me when I’m in fringe personality mode?
Food for thought!
It is! I thought about how I wanted to write this for a few weeks before doing it. Still not sure I quite got what I meant to say!
I use to have a small personality but I think I’m transformed into one with a big personality now. (If that makes any sense. LOL). Use to be shy and quiet, refuse to participate but now, I think I’ve grown out of that shell. I love to participate and not afraid to put in my two cents. It use to bother me when my husband gets out of hand dancing on the dance floor, now I join him in being crazy on the dance floor. With the two groups in your spinning class, if it was the younger me, I’d prefer the second spinning class. Now, I would prefer to be in your first spinning class. Loud and boisterous as you say. Thanks for the wonderful post.
Good for you! Glad you’ve been able to join your husband on the dance floor, and in life!