Because of the competition I’m in, I’ve been spending a lot of time at the gym – the Athletic Club of Columbus.
It’s a great place, with a thriving membership of professionals. Not a lot of riff-raff. For the most part, everyone is there to do their working out business and be done. Maybe chat with friends they run into for a bit, if the opportunity presents itself.
Which I like in a gym. I don’t want to go to the gym and feel like I’m being ogled by douche-bags or jackasses.
Call me crazy.
That being said, I’ve gotten to see some interesting people and interactions.
Like . . .
The woman who talks through group classes, even while the instructor is talking, oblivious to the fact that no one is talking back to her because they are all doing the class.
Or . . .
The man who cheers himself on while working out, yelling things like “GoGoGo” and “HeeYa” (as if he’s the jockey and the treadmill is the horse).
Or finally . . .
The day when I tried to set up mats for the Big Man and I to do the sculpting part of spinning class and every (every!) mat I put down got taken by someone walking into the room to reserve their own mat. The assumption everyone was making, I suppose, was that I was doing a public service that day for the class since the regular instructor was out sick. And I ended up not even getting a mat for the Big Man and I – they all got taken.
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My hours (and hours and hours) on the treadmill or elliptical these past 6 weeks have given me time to think about human nature.
What makes one person think something inappropriate is completely OK, whereas another person can recognize the infringement his/her actions have on other’s enjoyment of the same location?
Do I think the examples above are terribly wrong or completely off base?
No.
Mainly, it seems to be a lack of awareness of one’s impact on others. But when everyone acts that way, when there’s no COMMON COURTESY for others, that’s a problem.
True problematic behavior is when something like this happens – you go to a dance club with your husband and other guys try to cut in and start grinding on you, not caring what you or your husband think about that.
How could someone POSSIBLY think that’s OK?
Or what if you completely ignore your responsibilities to something in your life and then don’t understand why that something no longer respects you or values you?
Every generation thinks they have bigger problems than the one before it. Every generation thinks their kids are going to face bigger problems than they did.
But in our case and our time? I think we’re right.
Our generation is facing WAY bigger problems than our parents faced. And our kids are going to face issues that we can’t possibly fathom at the rate technology is growing.
All you need to do is look around to know that.
I guess the question becomes, “What the hell are we supposed to do about it?”
This question can keep me up at night. Anything I don’t have the answer to can. But this question I find particularly troubling right now.
It’s funny – I’m reading your take on the mat situation . . . if I were looking on, I’d think, with the first mat, someone took your mat . . . but, without a “excuse me, I was reserving that,” I’d change to thinking you were lying out mats for everyone.
Did you think about saying anything?
I should have. And you know how you have those days where you’re just not on your game? This was one of those days, where I just wasn’t on my game and instead of standing up and saying, “Hi, these are my mats,” I just rolled over. (My husband asked the same thing.
)
Oh it is amazing! The funny thing about the gym is that it is only a test tube example of the bigger problems. It is amazing how some people feel justified to behave badly, whilst it horrifies others.
I know, right????
I used to love the ladies who put on half a bottle of perfume before hitting the treadmill next to me (gag)! Funny–any segmented population like this whether it’s at a gym, at an event, or in a club (OMG! Did strange men really cut in on your huz and start grinding on you?!) gives you a taste for the different levels of consideration (or lack thereof) in society. Sometimes it really feels like hell in a handbasket, doesn’t it?
Yes, it really does feel that way! And yes, it really happened in a club. So bad.
Oh, Missy -I think about this all the time –
And it’s funny – because I do not think most of us realize how we impact others, or at least that’s what I’d like to believe because how else can I justify some of the inconsiderate behavior around me – although I’m sure others think I am just as inconsiderate. Next time I”m up at night grinding the same thoughts around in my head, I may have to call you – because what the hell ARE we going to do about it??
I am befuddled as well. I am constantly amazed at the lack of respect for others – from cashiers to our President. I always give the benefit of the doubt, though, and remind myself not everyone is raised in the same way. That gap is getting bigger and bigger and, as you note, will be an enormous chasm for our children to navigate.
Amen, sister! Amen.
I really think some people are oblivious to their inappropriateness. As a librarian, I do a storytime for toddlers with their parents. Occasionally, I will have a couple of parents who will talk to each other while I am reading a story aloud. I mean really – we are trying to teach the kids to SIT AND LISTEN – so set an example! It’s very frustrating, and I feel a bit awkward chastising the parents:)
Oh my gosh- that has to be hugely frustrating!
I’m flabbergasted nearly daily of the lack of consideration/courtesy of others. I keep thinking if I just keep being kind/considerate it will come back around, but some days I just want to tell people where to go (and not in a kindly manner). I often wonder what dictates this behavior of entitlement and “the world revolves around me” mentality. If you find the answer let me know!
Entitlement is what it all boils down to, I believe. Unfortunately, we are raising a generation of entitled children who have grown to entitled adults that grind on unsuspecting people and leave their spin bikes all sweaty, every.single.time, because they leave 5 minutes early. The Golden Rule goes a long way here; let’s go back to kindergarten! (I hope this doesn’t sound too harsh!!)
Not even close to harsh! Completely true. I didn’t even think about it that way – that we’re seeing the first generation of adults who were raised as entitled kids and have not become entitled adults. ugh. It makes me worry.
You are doing some deep thinking on treadmill. Me likey. Isn’t it interesting? Our lack of awareness for others. We so self absorbed. I’d like to think I’m not, but I am. I would never take someone’s mat on purpose, but I’d be the one distracted by my own thoughts and not really paying attention to what’s going on.
Wow. Great food for thought, Missy. I alternately laughed and feared for our future. I don’t know the answer, hon. So I’ll give the pat response: “It all starts at home.”
Also – HeeYa!! Get on wit yo bad self, you workout queen, you.
Yep – you’re right – it all does start at home.
Simple, give a good example yourself. If you always say ‘thank you’, ‘please’, ‘hello’, ‘goodbye’, get up for old people on the bus etc. chances are pretty good your kids will follow by example.
And hope that someday the douchebags of this world will follow suit.
And even if they don’t – at least I’m not contributing to the problem by raising douchebag children myself? Yes – good point.