Just Be Enough‘s prompt this month is about circles.
And whether I’m in circles.
I am, of course.
We all are.
I guess the bigger question is whether I like the circles I’m in.
And happily, I can say for the most part the answer is YES.
Real life circles remind me a lot of Google+. You have “friends,” “family,” “acquaintances,” “bloggers.”
What circles are YOU in?
And like all of us, I have my family circles, circles with friends, acquaintance circles, and blogging circles.
The friendship circles fascinate me the most. My parents always told me that I’d be lucky to count true friends on one hand in my whole life. Back when I was in college, I thought that was ludicrous. I had way more than a handful of true friends.
Now I see the truth in that. I have many acquaintances. Many of which are in totally different circles from each other. And I like that. That I can float around from one circle to the other, receiving different strengths or emotional support or fun from each one.
But I have very few true friends. Truly, as my parents said, way less than a handful. And I understand now. How hard it is to have true friends. Sometimes I look around at people I perceive as having large circles of true friends and/or a big group of close knit families who do everything together and I feel a little jealous. Sad, even.
But then I look at our life and how busy we are and feel blessed that we have so many different choices of activities and groups. Groups where we float on the periphery, but that’s ok. It’s good to have choices.
And sometimes it’s more fun to watch how other people interact with each other than it is to be right in the thick of their interactions.
It might even be a little safer that way. You know?
Tell me about YOUR circles. Are you a “many circles, many friends” kind of person, or are you a “few circles, few friends” person?
I find it astounding how Facebook has enlarged my acquaintance-circle, but how my ‘friend’-circle has stayed the same for the past – say – 10 years.
Yes, totally!
I spent so much of my life with exactly three friends that it’s very hard for me to expand. Being online has allowed me to make friends with people who I never would have met, who accept me for myself in ways I cannot be accepted where I live. Online communication has given me the chance to create a security net I’ve never had in my life, to make my circles into spheres.
GREAT point about online. It can be negative, the things that can happen online, but in the way you describe it, online friendships are so, so positive.
I agree with this. It always surprises me when circles overlap in ways that I didn’t realize and I get that “it’s a small world” reminder.
I love it when a small world reminder comes my way! Always when I least expect it too . . .
I tend to follow your lead when it comes to circles of friends. I have many acquaintances… and I like it that way. It is too hard to be emotionally connected to too many people outside of my family – primarily because I feel as though I can’t hold up my end of the “friendship bargain.” I have too many of my emotions invested in my children, my husband, and my immediate family. I hope my friends (many who are only acquaintances) know how important they are too me. As an afterthought – I might call myself a “true dedicated acquaintance” because I really do try to keep up even small relationships that I enjoy. Having friendships in the form of all types is so important.
I love how you put all of this. It IS too hard to stay emotionally connected to many, many people. But having friendships is really important too! Thanks, Kate!
What a great idea for a post! I love your point about the value of giving and receiving emotional support and strength from lots of different people. I do believe people come in and out of my life for various reasons and if I’m willing, I can learn much from different levels of friendships. My friendship circle has changed a lot over the past few years, both expanding and contracting. I’m grateful to be able to take in and give more real friendship than I used to. That said, getting close to people remains scarier than just about anything else I do. Great post!
“Getting close to people remains scarier than almost anything I do.” I SO, SO agree with you on that one!
What a thought provoking post. I have a number of acquaintance circles, but limited friends. This is both by fate and design. But it is fun to know and hang out with people from various walks of life. I love the variety and what that variety bring to the table. Blogging has brought new circles into my life – people who I would have never met otherwise, and that’s very exciting!
I totally agree about blogging – there’s something so awesome about the connections you make through blogging, isn’t there?
I would have to say that I have a few close friends. My closest friends are my old friends from high school and college. It always amazes me that even though I only see one of them on a regular basis (she lives in the same city), I am still close with the other girls. Every time we pick up the phone or see each other, it’s like time never passed.
Over the years I have made more friends and acquaintances. I have noticed that it takes longer to become good friends and I do make an effort. Even if it means going for a run with a friend at 5:30AM because it’s the only mutually convenient time.
As far as belonging to groups, we tend to spend time with different groups of people. In the past, I have made attempts to mix people from different groups, but it didn’t work out. Now I see advantages to being a part of several groups and as you say, having choices. It’s refreshing to be around different people! That means we have a busy social schedule, but we love that!
I totally agree that it takes longer to develop friendships as adults! And we have less time to do it, too!
Love this post. Pre kids I was definitely a many circles of friends person. It was wonderful! Lots of fun to float around and have different social outlets. Post kids it is much harder and I have fewer circles for sure and true friends are more clearly defined. I hope my circles grow again as my girls get older as having many circles and choices is so nice.
Having choices is so nice – you are right!
Lots of circles, but the inner cluster of true friends is much smaller. Some days I think it works and some days it doesn’t; we are starting to get really, really overcommitted because of all the various circles.
And as your kids get older, that overcommitment issue will continue! And yes! Did you see my itty-bitty circle? That represented “true friends.”
Like you I have few true friends but those I have are such an important part of my life. But with social media my circle of friends has grown and all of those people are amazing and without them I don’t know what I’d do some days.
I feel like my circle has grown through social media. Has it deepened? That’ I’m not as sure on, but it’s definitely grown and for that I’m thankful!
I have about 6 friends that I can call at anytime for anything. There are lots of people I am friendly with but 6 close friends is what I need for the goodness of my heart.
True friends are rare. I’m so happy to hear you have 6 you can count on. But from what i know about you, I’m not surprised!